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What do you call someone that blows up a plane?
Nothing you were on that plane

via: Anti Joke
Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

via: Anti-Pickup Line
I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed...

via: Clarksonisms

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